20 things I’ve learned after 20 months of infertility

1. I’m thankful that I have a child and that my infertility is considered secondary.

2. Secondary infertility (the inability to bear a child after you’ve had one or more) accounts for more than half the cases of infertility in the U.S.

3. Statistically, infertility is just as often caused by an issue on the man’s side as it is on the woman’s.

4. Shockingly few health insurances cover any fertility services at all.

5. I’m embarrassed by how many times in the past I ignorantly asked a couple when they were “going to have kids” or when they were “going to have another baby.” Don’t ask people that.

6. Savor the wine when you have another negative pregnancy test. Silver lining?

7. Some ovarian cysts are good! Eggs come from follicles which are actually cysts in your ovaries.

8. Despite what they imply in health class, if fertility is optimal, you still only have about a 20% chance of conceiving.

9. Other people’s pregnancy announcements are better on Facebook than in person. If it’s on Facebook, you can click “like” and mostly ignore it. If the announcement is in person, society expects you to smile and say, “congratulations,” even if you feel like someone just punched you in the gut.

10. If twins run in your husband’s family, that has absolutely no bearing on whether or not you’ll have twins. Sorry, no, it doesn’t.

11. Fraternal twins are caused by hyper-ovulation (two eggs are released). Most often, medication causes this.

12. Identical twins are completely random and by chance. One egg is fertilized and then splits into two.

13. I’m thankful I’ve never had a miscarriage.

14. I’m aware that my son may always be an only child, and I worry about the disadvantages. Is he lonely? Is he spoiled?

15. I’m aware that if my son is our only child, he’ll have more opportunities than if he had a sibling. We probably couldn’t afford to put two kids through private swim lessons instead of group lessons.

16. “Your follicles look nice and ripe” isn’t weird to hear anymore.

17. I’m one “When are you going to have another baby?” question away from responding, “When my ovaries and uterus work.”

18. I’ve lost count of how many people have seen me naked from the waist down. Skirts are great.

19. The lab technicians recognize me when I walk in the door.

20. I have a really awesome little boy, and I am so thankful every day that God blessed me with him.

 

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